For months, I seriously challenged myself to get out of feeling insufficient. Now, I am not talking about feelings that come and go; the type that you feel better after some hours or days. I’m talking about the kind that goes on for months!
I doubted my ability to be a good mum, wife, daughter, sister and friend. It was so bad that I stayed off people to figure out what was happening. This gave me a clear head to focus on my situation and not use someone else’s to try to figure a way out.
While trying to get myself to a much better place and space, it was ironic that I could confidently encourage some of my friends going through the same situation. Still, I could not help myself or even be open about how I felt because I didn’t know how to put them in words. I was championing them to lean into God’s promises, but I was not.
It was a struggle.
I did not forget God as my source, but I didn’t know how to lean on Him without expecting a quick solution or fix. God is not a magician! In my faith walk, I learned that God is a God of structure and process. He uses everything known or unknown to teach, comfort, and show up. There is a process where I have to trust that He would walk with me and work it out while helping me grow deeper in knowing Him.
I just wanted to work it out on my own. Amid the confusion, while seeking peace and clarity, I tried to close my eyes and make all negative feelings disappear. But if that worked, many of us wouldn’t have any problem. Imagine closing your eyes, and all your worries go away. That would have been so cool. But I realized that with my eyes closed or opened and leaning on God, He would undoubtedly use my limits to make way for His abundance.
I am not here to say it’s an immediate switch once you turn to God, but in my experience, it felt like a switch! You see, prayer is so powerful! And I am not even talking about the long-stretch thought-out prayers. I am talking about vulnerable prayers where you know God is right by your side. The kind that you pour out your worries, burdens, pain, and surrender All to Him and let him know you truly need Him. Prayers that feel like you are having a conversation with someone you trust to mend it all without holding anything back! It is powerful! It made me realize how much power I have as a child of God and the reach of that power.
A little thing I do now, which is so huge, is that I go to Him more frequently. I talk to Him about my feelings and aspirations and seek guidance like never before.
So my prayer for you today is that God uses your limits to make way for His abundance. That He undeniably shows you that He is God.