Have you ever been in a phase where you proudly hit your chest and declare how much you love God, especially when with friends and families, but deep down, you know that’s not entirely true? Not that you hate God, but that your ways and how you reflect who God is don’t seem to add up with what His Words say?

Before you raise your eyebrows, lol, know that I am not judging you at all; I have been in that phase and even stayed there a little longer than you probably have (haha!).

I have struggled with my faith walk. Honestly, I want to believe every Christian intentionally working on having a better relationship with God had struggled at one time or the other. Like, you can’t tell me you just had it all figured out at a go.

The most challenging for me was evaluating my spiritual growth and realizing it was a slippery slope; I fell back instead of falling forward. I questioned if my lifestyle reflects who God is, or at least who He wants me to be in Him. More questions like; am I shining His light in a way solely to glorify God through my works or for my gratification? Is my light turning others towards righteousness? Is my ambition or need for relevance taking me away from His presence? Am I practicing stereotypical Christian humility that I water down how much God has put in my hands? Am I living in love as much as I speak it into existence? Am I getting in my way of growing spiritually? I got so confused about how I could say I love God, and then again, most of my answers to the questions were “NO.”

But before I broke down, He reminded me of how He is constantly working in me and through me.

I love God but I ma not sure I mean it

I know I had to lay it all at His feet and trust Him to carry me and help me gradually become a true reflection of who He is and who He has called me to be. While I am letting Him do the work, I am also consciously putting in the work to live by His standards daily.


  1. Today, I prioritize my relationship with God knowing fully well that He would carry me through and through.
  2. I display the true humility of God by letting the world see His light shine in me and through me.
  3. I no longer water down who I am in Him.

Have a lovely weekend.